Animals about the Farmstead

Izzy with her parakeet, Babbie

Mom, can I have a (insert) Cow, Pig, Goat, Sheep,Chicken, Alpaca?  I always respond NO.  Honestly because they scare me. I have respect for the people that raise farm animals, but I think they are not for everyone.  Livestock is in a whole other category of animals.  I watch the television series, The Incredible Dr. Pol. It’s on the National Geographic channel.  Dr. Pol has his arm up a cows rear end more that any other animal procedure. No thank you. Cows seem to be trouble. Goats too. I imagine goats as destroyers. I think of those goats at the petting zoo that follow you around. I shiver! Sheep and Alpaca’s have creepy eyes. Not only do they look like they are possessed creatures, they are high maintenance. You have to clip all that wool. I wouldn’t mind chickens. I like the whole egg thing but my husband does not.  My friend who has chickens gave me a dozen of fresh eggs, and my husband would not eat them. He said he couldn’t eat them because he knows they came out of a chicken.  This is the most absurd thing I have ever heard! So, I’m not going to be pecked or chased by some crazy chickens for eggs no one will eat.  Anyways, these animals could be considered food too.  If they won’t eat a chicken egg;  I’m pretty sure they won’t eat the cow either.

Harriet was a stray. She was dirty and skinny running the streets. We tried to find her owners but were never successful. She was vicious to other dogs and scared, but now she is happy to be part of the family

Jack Jack and Bubbles

When I say NO, the girls say to me they would settle for a mini donkey or mini horse.  Why do they thinks NO means to negotiate for another animal? We already have many pets.  It’s a full time job to care for 5 horses, dogs, cats, a parakeet, fish and hermit crabs. This is our little modern farm. Izzy and Sophia know that I am a sucker for a sad story. An animal that needs my help is a definite weakness. I wish that I could help them all.  I think I have created a monster with allowing them so many animals.  It’s hard because they really take care of them all.  I have been trying to figure out what is “too much”.  They want everything.

Sadie Sue

This is Sherman. He lives with crab friends Raz, Regulus, Edgar, Cake, Squirt, and Talli

 

As my kids get older,  I have been working on boundaries and limitations.  It’s good to say NO.  I think it’s an important lesson in life that you just can’t have everything.  Be happy and grateful for all that you have.  Izzy and Sophia work really hard and always keep up with their responsibilities.  For the most part, they are very good kids and I want to give them everything.  I do think it’s important to reward but I don’t always have to buy them something.  A compliment will do or I will make them their favorite dinner.

Riley

I do recognize that we have a lot of pets and thank goodness I have learned to say enough.  I love them all, and  they compliment our little modern farm.

It’s show time!

I always love the last minute show.  Not really, but sometimes it just happens.  Sophia has been working really hard the past 7 months with her new horse, Delilah. They have had their ups and downs.  Delilah had about 6 months under saddle when we purchased her. She is super green, but a natural at jumping and has a sweet temperament. We decided to take a chance with this prospect.  I think the biggest challenge is to trust one another.  The bond between horse and rider can really make or break the horse’s performance.  There are experienced horses that can help the rider to work on themselves, but those veteran horses all became that way because a rider diligently worked with them.

I’m proud of Sophia and all her hard work with Delilah. I’m excited that she wants to take her to a show.  Delilah is 6 years old. It’s not always fun to take a young horse somewhere new. Sophia has to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. She has to be there for Delilah. To be the leader and be able to comfort her when she is uneasy.  Creating  good experiences not bad. First impressions to a horse can influence your future rides and horse’s behavior.  It’s a big responsibility for a 13 year old girl.

My job as a show mom is to take some of the pressure off my girls.  I spend at least a week before making sure their show clothes are clean and  pressed. Boots are polished.  I have a list of  items that I will organize and pack in the trailer and tack trunk.  Also, I make sure that we have enough hay, feed baggies with supplements and shavings.

When they were little,  I did it all for them.  I organized and cleaned all their show clothes and tack.  I bathed and clipped all their horses too.  My girls just had to get dressed and ride the horse.  As they get older I am teaching them all my secrets.  Especially how to groom a gray horse. It’s a perk their mom is a hairstylist.   I don’t care if we are going to a schooling show or to championships. We will always have a proper turnout and be respectful to the judges and the people putting on the show. The girls now bathe and clip their horse, and clean all their tack. I still get to  braid for them, and most importantly I make sure they stay hydrated and fed.  I hope I teach them well, and that they will  keep the same standards when they are adults.  I know they are spoiled, but it’s what moms are suppose to do.  I’m their biggest fan and love to be part of it all. Looking forward to this weekend. It will be a proud parent moment to see my daughter show her little novice horse the ropes in the hunter ring.

Oh, for the Love of Horses

I’m intrigued that horses are so therapeutic to many.   I was watching a television program this morning. It was a story about a woman who’s running a horse program for teens.  It is a program that teaches kids to ride horses and learn about animal science.  The teens are busy, off the streets, and out of trouble.  It was amazing to see how learning to ride and caring for a horse could help these teens make good choices and graduate high school.  Horses are also helping children and adults  with special needs experience something very rewarding.   Therapeutic riding can be  beneficial whether you have cognitive, physical, or an emotional disability.  Horseback riding supports  individuals to move, stretch, strengthen their muscles, and to have better  balance. It also helps all to have fun outdoors. The people that have these nonprofits to help others impress me. They give up so much of their time to assist others.  All for the greater good. Horses can do that to you. They touch your heart.

My kids were very shy.  I tried to introduce them to many different activities.  We tried dance.  I think they would last 10 minutes on the dance floor and start crying and come sit on my lap. Then they would watch the other girls dance. I took them to art classes, sports, group, and individual activities. They cried, even if they were with their friends.  I would end up doing ballet with them or the only parent painting.  I had to be right next to them. Even for play dates and birthday parties.  It was very frustrating.  I just wanted them to have fun. As they got older, they also cried for years at school. I had to volunteer in their classes. Preschool, Kindergarten… I’m thinking this year was the 1st year they haven’t cried.  I still don’t understand why they had such social anxiety.  If I was with them you would never know.  When the girls started taking horse riding lessons something happened. They didn’t cry.  That’s why I stuck with it. I really believe horses healed something inside them. They learned confidence. How to deal with their emotions. Horses can feel them.  They set and achieved goals.  Became team players. Best of all they know responsibility.  Now, they are are not afraid to try new things and they laugh and smile instead of crying.

making it through the hard part…

I have  friends who have babies and kids younger than mine.  I see their adorable pictures and posts on Facebook. Every new thing they do is immediately posted for all to see. It always brings me back to when my girls were little.  Something that always makes my eyes roll is the comment: You made it through the hard part.. Does parenting ever get easy? 

I have this memory.  Sophia was about a month old and Izzy was 2 years old. Izzy was extremely jealous of Sophia, and made it very difficult for me. She was excited to have a little sister until the day Sophia was born. Then, Izzy found out what was a sister.  I could not leave Sophia alone.  If I walked in the other room to grab a diaper. Izzy would put a pillow or blanket over Sophia or was rolling on top of her.  When I was feeding Sophia, Izzy would go in the kitchen to the  refrigerator  grab eggs. She would throw them all around the house, and do other destructive things.   Anything to get my attention.  One day my friend was over and she saw Izzy drawing on her walls in her bedroom.  We went in her room and I said: “Isabella, you’re freakin’ driving me Crazy!”  Izzy looked at me and started jumping on her bed saying over and over and over “MOMMY’S F**KING CRAZY!”  Loud and clear as day.  I was so embarrassed.  I thought I was a failure.  My friend, still laughs and talks about how funny it was…I still cringe.

I am glad that I survived that time of life.  Having a new born and a toddler was very challenging, but I’m glad I experienced it all.  I took it day by day and we all made it through the baby/toddler years.  As a parent you adapt to what is happening that moment. For me, I was lucky to have stayed home with my girls and we learned a lot of life lessons together. I think in the end parenting has made me a better person.  Definitely a better listener and I learned to be patient.  Izzy and Sophia still have their moments but for the most part they are close.

Now that Sophia and Izzy are both teens,  we have new challenges.  I’m still trying to figure out how to manage 2 emotional/hormonal girls.  I feel the pressure is on as I only have a few more years until they are adults.  There are enough selfish haters out there. Drive on any Bay Area highway and you will meet plenty.  I have encouraged my girls not to grow up too fast and enjoy it.  You only have 1 childhood… get the most out of it.  You will be an adult soon enough, and will be spending most of your time working.  Don’t feel pressure to have a boyfriend because you will have plenty of those too. I know that this chapter of parenting will be some of the best and worst times.  One thing that I do know is  we will all survive it.

Summertime fun!

It was a strange summer.  We usually have a full schedule.  Our normal horse show calendar is from March- October. With multi- day shows all summer. The girls have young horses with not much time under saddle. So, their  focus was on training instead of showing.  May/June, We did take the horses to a couple shows at the training barn they take lessons at.  Just for exposure.  I loved it!  My blood pressure stayed low.  I wasn’t a ball of nerves hoping Izzy remembered the dressage test.  Will Sophia know her jump course and have a clean round?  No waking up at 4am to make sandwiches and trailer the horses to the show. No lucky popcorn was prepared. ( since their first shows 7 years ago, we have a tradition for me to make popcorn) No hotels. No being at the show grounds 6am-6pm.  I didn’t have to braid or groom. I slept in!  The only downside was I didn’t save any money.

I actually enjoyed summer. Since moving, I have been enjoying fresh air. The sunsets  are incredible, and I can’t believe how many stars are in the sky.  We moved in the winter last year and we still had a lot of things to do around the house to get settled in.  Yes, we worked hard as winter was coming, but we also enjoyed ourselves.

Now summer is almost over.  Izzy and Sophia started school this week.  The days are shorter and  there’s a little nip in the air to remind us the seasons are changing.  It’s been nearly a year since we moved from the city and I don’t miss it. I feel so lucky to be here.  I’m going to kick my feet up and enjoy the rest of the summer!

The Barn

We recently started our first big project.  We wanted a barn.  I checked out prices and did not want to spend $40,000+ on a barn. Well, not yet… Every horse owner’s dream is to build a barn. Someday we will, but for now we just need some shelter for the horses.  Last winter all our horses lived in pasture. We have 2  fenced areas with run in sheds.  I thought it would be fine until it started raining.  Thank goodness we moved while California is in a drought because we could barely handle the 6 days of rain we had.  Yes, we looked like newbies! The clay mud did not help.  It was stressful to watch  the horses slipping and sliding. Not to mention every shoe and boot used outside was caked with about 4 inches of mud. There was not a boot scraper strong enough to get this mud off! We battled a few hoof abscesses and that was it! Where do you put an injured horse when you don’t have a barn? I really wanted to address the problem this summer.

I had to think creative to find a shelter for 5 horses without braking the bank. We found a used portable 4 horse barn.  It looked easy enough to assemble. Until, I helped move a panel. I take it back, not easy! It took us 3 trips to pick up all the pieces.  It was 95 degrees and an hour away from our house.  Just bringing the barn home was taxing!  There was no turning back now.  We were committed to complete this barn.  All I kept thinking was, I’m too old ! Why didn’t I have boys!

This was a challenge! I understand why communities came together to help their neighbors. We had to depend on each other, and  it would have been nice to have a draft horse to help erect the frame too.  We all 4, needed  mental power and all our physical strength to raise this barn.  And we lived! No injuries either! (except the day I forced Nick to go get pipe panels with me and he was mad. I was helping him carry a panel and he pulled me to the ground because he was walking too fast. It was ok because he was nicer after that. Haha!)  Every weekend we worked on it for a month and now the horses are enjoying it.  There’s still more to do. We need base rock, mats and we still have to build a cover for Comandible’s pipe stall. Since, I’m old…I need a little rest.  We’ll get it done before winter.

Izzy and Sophia love their little barn! They take a lot of pride in it because they helped build it.  Someday, they can tell their children and grandchildren this story.  I tell my girls,  to have a dream, work hard and you’ll achieve it. I hope they will pass this lesson on to the next generation.

Starting a New Chapter

It’s hard to believe I had a life before horses.  It’s been almost 18 years since my husband, Nick and I started a life together.   I grew up in the bay area. I always loved the city life. The diversity of people, art, music and great food. If you showed me a glimpse of my future I would have thought someone was playing a joke on me. How did I get here?

My 2 daughters Izzy, 15 and Sophia, 13 have been riding horses for the past 8 years.  They were the typical little girls who loved all animals. They would rather have a stuffed animal than a doll.  Izzy loved horses, and my friend thought it would be fun to take her out and ride a horse and she was hooked! How would I know that it would change all our lives? That’s where our journey began.

We have sacrificed a lot for our girls to have horses. Living in the Bay area is expensive enough. Owning horses , at times, made us all feel we live below the poverty level. Anyone who owns a horse knows this to be true. Nick and I are the typical Silicon Valley people. Nick is a software engineer and I am a hairstylist. We are raising our girls trying to keep them on the right path. They are at a critical time in life. Teenage years! To grow up in this generation, you have to be extraordinary. I always think of Jane Austen’s book, Pride and Prejudice…

no one can be really esteemed accomplished who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with. A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved.

Raising girls to be “accomplished” young women is challenging. To get into college, you need a GPA of more than 4.0. Plus you have to be involved with your community and play sports or some other extra curricular activity. Don’t forget, you have to be great at it all.  There is no room for error nor enough time in the day to waste. Stand above everyone.  How do you do that when average is extraordinary? The hardest part for me is not being in the “drivers seat”. I can only support them and allow them to become who they want to be.  When they were little it was easy. Mommy knows best. Put a bandaid on what hurts and a hug and kiss.  Everything was better. I was there, teaching them what was right and wrong.  Now, I only hope they remember.  I only have 3 more years with Izzy and then she will be in college.  It’s sad to me. I wish they can stay little forever.

Back to horses…this seems to be the thing that keeps our family linked.  Some of my clients ask me why I have horses? It’s so much work and is time consuming. I tell them:  I spend at least 3 hours a day with my teenage girls. How many parents get to do that? It has kept us close as a family. We talk to our kids and they want to spend time with us.  Years ago, Nick would grumble about the horses and I would have to ask him: “Do you want your teenage daughters  to be at the mall or at the horse barn?” 8 years of life with horses!  At  5 and 7 years old they started riding at a humble private barn.   Now, we have 5 horses! What happened? It’s hard to say that number out loud. We are locked in!

Last summer, as a family, we decided it was time to leave the city life and move somewhere where we could bring the horses home. We thought about moving out of California, but decided we would try and stay close.  It would be best for Nick and I not  have to change jobs. Then we could  live close to all our family and friends. We found a small town an hour outside the Bay Area that seemed perfect!  Last November, we sold our house and bought a home on 5 acres.    It has been a lot of work, but nothing beats it! This is our dream…